"The Bond of Perfection"

"All programs and resolutions of the spiritual life are of little value if they are not animated by love and directed to the perfection of love."  ~ The Divine Intimacy, #70

We read in Scripture about "faith, hope, and love . . . and the greatest of these is love."  1 Corinthians 13:13.  We also read that "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."  John 3:16.  What an incredible love that God would sacrifice His only Son for us?  And yet do we really understand or appreciate that love?  Does our desire to participate in that love drive our relationship with God and our spiritual life?  Or do we get caught up in the details and forget the foundation?

"The spiritual life requires the use of so many means, calls for the exercise of so many virtues that care must be taken lest we become lost in details, forgetting the love which should be the foundation and end of all."  ~ The Divine Intimacy, #70

Developing our spiritual life entails incorporating so many prayers of various forms into our lives.  Of setting apart time each day dedicated to meditation and contemplation of God.  Of bettering our relationship with God so that we can better hear His voice and follow His path for our life.  Of attending mass and the sacraments regularly.  Of practicing virtue, aspiring to Christ's example in our actions and thoughts.  I don't know about you, but I often get so caught up in trying to remember and do ALL these things that I forget WHY I'm doing them.  That my love for God is the underlying foundation, the driving force behind any and all of this!

As my friends know, I'm extremely detail-oriented.  I love planning and checklists and organization.  I don't do terribly well with impromptu changes or no plan at all.  And organizing my spiritual life is helpful to a certain extent; however, I find that sometimes I spend so much time planning out how I'm going to do ALL the things (daily Rosary; daily meditation and reading; Mass on Sundays; etc.) that I forget Who I'm struggling to do all of this for.  Having a plan is great, but if I lose sight of my end, then all the planning in the world is worthless.

The greatest of these is love.  Let us remember that in our daily lives.  As we go about our vocations, keep love at the forefront (I'll write a post later on about the difference between love and just letting people get whatever they want).  Keep God at the forefront of everything.  Let His love for you and your love for Him illuminate and drive your existence! 

What Can We Give God?

"Suffering is the only thing that is impossible for [God], Who [is] glorious and omnipotent, the only thing which [God] [does] not have and which I can give [Him.]"

It's hard to believe that I've already been doing the readings in The Divine Intimacy for over two months now.  Time is certainly flying by - how is it already February?  Anyway, I'm extremely grateful that my friend suggested we do this reading.  There isn't always a huge "AHA" moment each day, but every day there is something worth learning and contemplating.  

Yesterday, the reading and meditation was on "Living Christ" - how our "imitation of Christ should not be limited to some particular aspect of His life; it means living Christ and becoming completely assimilated to Him."  The Divine Intimacy, "Living Christ," pg. 181.  The passage went on to talk about how we are called to be an extension of Christ's humanity to the world, a conduit through which He can pour out His graces upon the world.  Now that He is in glory in heaven, He can no longer suffer . . . yet we here on earth can.  And what do you give a God Who has everything?  The one thing He can't do.  

Through our sufferings, if offered up to Him, we can attempt to express at least a small portion of our eternal gratitude to Him for all that He has given us in this life.  There are many ways people have looked at suffering.  Some claim that it is a punishment.  That God wouldn't let us suffer if He really loved us.  On the contrary, He lets us suffer BECAUSE He loves us.  If we do not suffer or struggle in life, how can we see our own inadequacy and eventually turn to rely on Him?  Then there's also the added factor of redemptive suffering, whereby we can offer our sufferings to God for Him to use to aid others. 

And I'll leave you with these quotes from 63. Jesus Calms the Tempest:

"God is not a tyrant who crushes us, but a Father, who tests us because He loves us.  If He permits sorrow, interior or exterior trials, personal or public vicissitudes, it is only to draw out of them some greater good.  Virtue and goodness are strengthened in time of difficulty; the efforts made in bearing trials tend to make us surpass what we would have done had we enjoyed perfect calm."

"If we are disturbed and upset by trials, it means that we lack faith.  Even when God conceals Himself, when everything seems to fail us and we feel terribly alone, we can be absolutely certain that God will never abandon us if we do not first abandon Him.  Instead of becoming bitter or falling into despair, it is the moment to intensify our faith, to make strong acts of faith."

"Many times we fail to surmount interior difficulties because we work alone.  God wants us to experience our own insufficiency; therefore, He lets us struggle until we have recourse to Him with full confidence.  Certainly God wants our efforts, but He does not want us to place all our hope in them.  This accounts for the small progress so many make on the road to sanctity - too much reliance on their own resources, too little on God's help."

Lord, I ask that You help me and all Your people to recognize and acknowledge our own inadequacy and to turn to You for aid through Your grace.  Help us to follow Your path for our lives, wherever that may lead.  To place our faith in Your plan. 

Activity Without Anxiety

Anxiety is a big part of my life - even if it doesn't look like that to most people.  I'm pretty good at hiding it from the world.  But those closet to me - my husband and dear friends - they know.  They know about the pains in my chest when the anxiety mounts too high.  They know about my unfortunate tendency to always see the worst possible outcome, and allow that to affect my daily life.  Granted, I deal with the anxiety fairly well most of the time - which is probably why most people would be surprised to hear that I deal with so much of it.

Introvert - Sensing - Thinking - Judgment

I'm a type-A person with an ISTJ personality - which means that I want to fulfill my duty to EVERYONE and that work comes before pleasure and that ALL things must be done well or else I have failed.  And most other people look at that and go "It's JUST the cupboard.  It doesn't have to be meticulous."  Or "We're only a few minutes late - it's no big deal."  For me, being late is a HUGE deal.  I feel anxiety over being late because I hate walking in and having EVERYONE know you're late (even if they're not actually looking).  And I also feel like it's incredibly rude to show up late to something, especially mass.

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, this personality of mine means that I tend to be more of a Martha than a Mary.  There are very few times that I'll sit down and just relax . . . and most times, that's only AFTER all the chores are done.  I'm typically busy doing ALL the things - laundry; dishes; cooking; shopping; work; planning; organizing; cleaning; etc. . . . you get the picture.  And more often than not, I don't really take the time I need.  I don't feel like I deserve time to myself.  Time where I can just sit and drink tea and read a book without worrying about who else is around or what else I should be doing.  Time to relax and recuperate and rejuvenate myself so that I can keep on being the duty-fulfiller.  Nine times out of ten I will choose to fulfill a duty rather than meet my own needs . . . and that tenth time?  That only happens with support from my husband and closest friends and an active fight against my ISTJ.  But I know it's necessary.  Otherwise I won't be able to fulfill my duties because I'll be a burnt-out, overly-extroverted witch.

A major source of anxiety for me is NOT being able to control all aspects of my life.  I've gotten a LOT better at being able to just let go and go with the flow . . . people in my life can largely thank my husband for that growth development.  When I was younger, my mother stopped telling me the plans because if they changed just the slightest, I'd basically have a meltdown.  When I grew up, I was meticulous about being on time and controlling my life.  That worked out well enough when I was in college since it was just me.  Not so well once I started working for people who have rather last-minute schedules and a lackadaisical approach to life.  So I had to learn how to go with the flow.  I'm nowhere near close to perfect, but I deal a lot better with last minute changes now than I did a few years ago.  Even now, our plans for the next week are completely up in the air, and I'm pretty much ok with it.

I know that life is messy, and that I can't control everything and everyone in it.  All I can control is myself, what affects me, and how I respond to people and situations.  Granted, I'm still struggling with getting rid of the anxiety - although thankfully it's only gotten really bad a few times.

Which leads me to the reason for this post.  Again, it's a quote from The Divine Intimacy.  

Jesus chided Martha, not because she gave herself to activity, but because she was too anxious about it. . . . As soon as a soul perceives that it is beginning to lose its interior calm, it should interrupt its work, if possible, at least for an instant, and retire into its interior with God. 

 21. Seeking God in Activity, The Divine Intimacy

This passage spoke so clearly to me - as I struggle this week with anxiety.  I need to go about my activity as best I can, but give all the anxiety to God.  Trust Him to handle it.  To take away the hurt and to protect me.  I know it's not easy to remember to turn to God, especially if we are not in the habit.  And believe you me, it's not been easy for myself either (still working on this one).  But the thought that even a moment's prayer to God, retiring to my interior calm with Him, can help the anxiety is comforting.  Help me, Lord, to stop and turn to You in moments of anxiety - to stop and place my worries and anxiety and frustration in Your hands and in perspective.

To all of you who may have anxiety normally, or who just get it around the holidays, pray and stay strong and faithful in the knowledge that God is watching out for you.  Merry Christmas!

Pursuing Sanctity

A dear friend of mine recommended that I attempt the Divine Intimacy this year, a fitting resolution that began on the First Sunday of Advent, the beginning of the new year for the Church.  My friend and I are tackling this journey together, giving each other moral support and motivation to keep going.  And we're tracking our thoughts, meditations, and reflections on each day's reading so as to gain more knowledge and understanding from the work.  I'm sure many of my future posts will incorporate aspects of this journey as I continue throughout the year.

He who does not possess charity, does not possess sanctifying grace either, because they are absolutely inseparable.  ~ The Divine Intimacy, 4. Charity the Essence of Sanctity

If God is love, and sanctity stems from that, it surely follows that we must practice love like God's to achieve sanctity.  And not just the lovey-dovey, mushy feeling of love.  I'm talking about the love that sacrifices for the good of the other.  The love that does what is best for the other, even if the other doesn't want quite what they get.  Love is keeping a person from burning themselves even if they want to run into the fire.

Desire and love are not necessarily the same thing.  And love can be distorted.  We pursue that which we think good.  We love that which we think good.  But our perception of the good can become distorted by the world around us and by the Evil One's attempts to ruin our souls for himself.  This is why we have to follow God's example of love, for He IS love itself.  If we take Him for our guide, how can we fail to pursue that which is truly good and to express that which is truly love? 

As we move speedily through this Advent season, I challenge you to take time each day in meditation and devotion with our Lord.  He dwells within each of us, waiting for us to listen to His voice.  We have only to seek Him faithfully.