Do you ever get that nagging feeling that something is missing? Or the little green monster pops up unexpectedly at the worst times and reminds you of all that you're missing? He compares your meager and measly life to the thriving ones of your friends and family, convincing you that you're never going to achieve your dreams and that life is just a drag - well, a drag for you anyways.
Believe you me, I'm well aware of how quickly and deeply that little voice pierces your soul. And you catch yourself focusing on all the things you don't have yet and may never have rather than on all the blessings in your life. There's a saying: "Bloom where you're planted." And honestly, that's the answer to your jealousy and sorrow. For better or worse, God has placed you where you are right now for a reason - maybe to test you; maybe to prepare you for trials ahead; maybe to give you blessings you don't even realize. And that little monster talking about YOUR dreams and YOUR wishes? He's trying to turn your attention away from God's plan for your life and make you focus solely on your own idea of what should be happening. And then making you feel like crap when that isn't the reality.
Of course, blooming where you're planted doesn't mean you shouldn't be working towards those dreams as long as you aren't trying to go against God's plan. And knowing what that plan is . . . well, that's a tricky business. But if you pay attention, He'll show you. Blooming where you're planted often means making the best of the situation you're in . . . focusing on the positive and learning the lessons you need to learn. And oftentimes, being stuck in a situation far from your ultimate dream can help you discern what that dream really should be.
Your life isn't going to change with a snap of your fingers. You have to make it change. And if you keep trying and trying and hitting roadblock after roadblock, then either you're not trying hard enough or God is perhaps giving you a sign that you should try a different path. Or maybe the devil is working against you. Regardless, with discernment and reliance on God, you can figure out your path in life (at least for a few years down the road) and can then set about adjusting your present to prepare for the future you want. If you want something, you're going to have to work for it. The hard part is figuring out how.
Carla slowly turned around as she took in her new surroundings. She stood in a stark white enclosed room bordered by innumerable doors. Each door gleamed a different color, and a small sign labeled the contents therein. Career. Family. School. Travel. Couch Potato. Leech. Hole In Sand. Party Lights. Cardboard Box. Childhood. Friends. Alternate Life. The choices seemed endless as she continued to swivel in her comfortable chair. So this is it. This is where my future is decided. How do I know which door to choose?
A gentle voice behind her caused her to jump up. "You don't know. Alone, all you can do is guess. Each door leads to a possible future. Whether it is your next destination on the eternal plan, you cannot know without help."
Carla was positive she hadn't spoken aloud, but she turned towards the voice and asked, "What is this help?" She raised her hand to shield her eyes from the shining light and called out, "I can't see you. How do I know you're there?"
"You have other senses than sight, have you not? Senses that course through your entire being beyond the simple external five. What do these senses tell you?"
Carla closed her eyes for a moment, trying to discern the deeper trust in her faith of the divine. "That You exist. That You are here with me even though I cannot see Your face. And that You are the answer to all of my troubles. Please. Tell me what to do."
She felt rather than saw His smile as He said, "Carla, my child, it is simple. Follow Me. That is what you must do."
Her heart sank as she complained, "But what should I do specifically? Which of these doors opens onto the next step for my path? How do I decide?"
"Talk it out for Me, and you will realize the answer you have always had within your soul."
"But it would be so much easier if You would just tell me."
"Since when has My way been about the easy way out?" He admonished her.
Carla bowed her head in submission. She rubbed her temples and began to work it out. "I suppose the first step is discernment of your vocation. Check. Mine's marriage and motherhood. But I can't just jump through the Family door. I haven't even got the meager beginnings of my own as of yet."
"Correct so far. This room, then, is the 'waiting' room. It is where you discover what your purpose on life is between childhood and fulfilling your vocation."
"How long am I stuck in this interim?" He did not answer. "I suppose that's for You to know and me to find out." Again she felt His smile and groaned inwardly. I always knew He had a strange sense of humor. But she stopped because she remembered how He could read her thoughts. "Ok. So I have to decide, or rather discover, what my interim singlehood is for." Carla sat back down and tucked her knees under her chin. The door choices swirled before her closed eyes as she tried to figure out the correct decision. "I don't know!" she finally cried out. "At least, I can't know without Your help. Please help me!" Her prayer for guidance did not go unanswered.
"All you need do is trust My path and stay alert for the signs which I will send. They will guide you through the days ahead."
"But how will I know what these signs are?" Carla asked, but she received no answer. Trial and error, I suppose. Mixed with a bit of prayer and a large helping of faith. The next time she opened her eyes, Carla was in her bed once more. A car horn blew outside as birds heralded the new day. As she prepared for work, her dream played over in her mind. "Fine," she whispered. "I'll try to watch." As she ran out the door, Carla had no idea how much faith in God's plan could change her life.
Today's post is stolen partially from another blog post I wrote years ago . . . but as I read through it, I find myself going through the same thought processes today as I was back then. I'm closer to fulfilling my vocation, but as a friend gently reminded me, my focus on that fact is blinding me to appreciating and soaking up the moments of here and now. I'm getting married in three weeks, and already my brain is stressing about how we're going to afford the huge family we hope to have. My resolution today (and my challenge to all of you) is to love your life where you're at. To live each day to the fullest. To let the ones who matter to you know how much you care. And not to waste away your present worrying about the future.
