As I pondered what my post should be about, my thoughts kept straying to impending trips I am planning. Such thoughts, when connected with children, brought back memories of the innumerable road trips my family made all together. Whether it was a few hours to visit the grandparents or 22+ hours straight to visit Florida, my family has spent a lot of time together in the car. If you have small children, you will know the chaos of containing young kids for an extended period of time. You've doubtless racked your brain for new ideas of keeping them entertained and off your nerves. Here are a few suggestions to turn your hectic headache of a trip into a somewhat peaceful and even enjoyable trip.
1. Word games. Have your kids keep their eyes on the license plates and billboards passing by as they try to spell words or say the alphabet using letters that they see. Play I Spy or try to find license plates from all 50 states. Go around in a circle (or back and forth up the rows of seats) and call out a list of words in alphabetical order: aardvark; bear; cat; donkey; elephant. You get the picture.
2. Travel games are amazing. We had a Travel Yahtzee that was a blast in the car.
3. Coloring books or pads of paper. Bring small baggies or cups of crayons, pencils, markers, etc. for each child. If they have a cup holder, they can put the coloring utensils in there. This prevents scattering. And larger books can be used as improv. tables.
4. Books on Tape (or CD). Plug in a few good stories to keep the kids happily quiet and your nerves a bit softer. Check with your local library for a selection of children's tales. Or even try and download a few onto your handy-dandy iPod or MP3 player.
5. In this modern world, it is more and more easy to entertain children by plugging them in to a movie or tv show. I don't disapprove of this method (although I don't recommend using it the entire trip.) Whether you have a tv in your car or a portable DVD player, using a movie as a means of securing a few hours of relaxation time in peace and quiet can be very rewarding. It also works as a threat, i.e. if y'all don't settle down, there will be no movie.
I'd love to hear your childhood stories or your family tales and tricks for whiling away the long hours in the car. Or on a plane. Or a train. Or a boat. (Are there any more modes of mass transportation?) Big or small, I'm sure any helpful suggestions would be welcome. Good luck to all of you planning your next family vacation to sunny Spain (or maybe just Florida). A bit of forethought and preparation saves a lot of whining and groaning later.
Having a nanny can pose potential problems with the proper raising of children. Nothing too serious or irreparable, but still it should be nipped in the bud. My example from today for this statement is the following situation: A child (age 7) was being sloppy while sharpening a pencil and spilled the shavings all over the floor. He was informed to pick up the mess, but he promptly replied to me: "You're the cleaner." (I do a majority of the house cleaning.) Such smart aleck behavior was not tolerated, and he was required to clean up his own mess. But his comment started a train of thought upon which I questioned the benefit of hiring someone who will clean up after all of your small children. At what age should children be required to clean up after themselves? Is the comfort of a clean home worth the loss in lessons learned by your children?
Some people claim that you cannot start too young with teaching children to pick up their toys. Others support a freedom from responsibility, i.e. the kids can simply play and then leave the toys out. I tend to lean more towards the former position. As soon as your children can walk (or even crawl), you can begin showing them how to put their toys away. As they get older, instructing them in how to hang up their own coat, put away their own shoes, and clean up when they're done playing is useful to both of you. While you must succumb to a bit of disorganization when raising children, you needn't allow your home become a pigsty because you can't physically clean everything up or do not have sufficient means for hiring a cleaner. You may wonder how it is possible to keep your house clean. I know it's like trying to keep the kitchen free of dirty dishes, but it is possible.
Step One: De-clutter. A large majority of chaos and toy upheaval occurs because there is simply too much stuff. Throw away broken toys. Give away or donate gently used toys. Thin out your baby doll collection by getting rid of every fourth one. Have your children decide which toys are most important to them. Give them a specified amount (either for keeping or discarding), and stick to it as closely as possible. Once you've thinned out your toy closet, you will find organizing and keeping it organized much easier.
Step Two: Organize. "A place for every thing, and every thing in its place." This phrase is indispensable in a large household (or any household for that matter.) Create a toy closet with shelves and buckets or boxes for separation of various toys. Use empty cardboard boxes to create dividers for large shelves. Label all the boxes or buckets so that your children know what goes where. Try to keep the toys in one or two central locations. This will diminish the clutter throughout your home and create an easier method for choosing something to play when your children whine about having nothing to do.
Step Three: Ground Rules. As your kids get older, you can set a few rules for playing with their toys. A favorite one of mine (from my mother) is this: Whatever you are currently playing with must be put away properly before another toy is taken out. Of course, there are a few exceptions to this rule such as leaving out the Playmobil set or the doll house. In general, however, it is a good idea to limit the number of toys allowed out at a time. By doing so, you more firmly establish the "clean up after yourself when you are finished" mantra. Other rules may include asking permission before getting out certain toys or the loss of toy privileges as punishment.
Step Four: Be firm. From the beginning (especially if you are starting this method later on in your children's lives), you must be firm in your decided rules and organization. The battle may be rough the first few weeks, but it will pay off in the end. A favorite method of mine for teaching children the value of cleaning up after themselves is this: If you don't pick it up, I will. If I have to pick it up, you won't get it back (for however long.) The toy in question is then removed from the toy closet and put away for an undisclosed period of time. Your children may or may not respond with improvement to this method. My mother told me of a story when I wouldn't pick up my toys, so she got out the paper bags and began storing them away. I actually helped her pack them all away. Of course, if that happened to you, you'd have less toys on your hands regardless.
Step Five: Be patient. Discovering the best organizational methods for your family may take a large amount of time. Be open to suggestion and variation from your kids. Ask the older kids whether they have ideas for the toy situation. Work together as a family to find the best fit for you all, one that keeps the house clean (and, therefore, your nerves a bit more intact) and also one that allows your children to be kids while teaching them skills for life.
Above all, remember that being able to clean up after themselves is extremely important. Unless you are fabulously wealthy, chances are they'll have to clean their own home one day. At that time, the guys will be grateful for clean habits when they try to impress their girlfriend. The girls will be grateful for a pleasant atmosphere when returning home from a stressful day at work. All your children will benefit from the "hardship" of responsibility for their toys and personal belongings.
There are several keys to friendship which I cannot enter into at this time. The one I would like to discuss, however, is hospitality. Hospitality is defined as "the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers." In ancient times, a kingdom's hospitality towards strangers welcomed friend and foe alike. Regardless of nationality or political interest, a traveler upon the road was received into the halls with ceremony and civility. In other cultures there exists a tradition of setting an extra place at table in preparation for any passersby seeking food and shelter. The guest was treated with the utmost honor and deference. This generous welcome of strangers hearkens back to Christ's command that we care for the least of these, our brethren. In practicing true hospitality, we can feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick, etc. Furthermore, through this practice of hospitality, we can create new acquaintances which may develop into life-long friendships.
I recently began co-teaching a young girls' hospitality group based largely on the Little Women Hospitality Group books. The lessons range from cleaning to table settings and invitations to hosting a party. Each lesson draws upon various saints and literary figures as examples for the tasks taught. Our first lesson was on baking and the hospitality of cooking. After reading an excerpt from Little Men by Louisa May Alcott, we discussed the proper steps for baking and the numerous uses for cooking skills. A few examples of cooking hospitality include: taking a meal to a sick friend; hosting a party; helping out with family meals. The girls learned that once they learn the useful art of cooking, they can practice it through their hospitality. By putting to use a wonderful skill, they can bring joy into the lives of others around them.
As we continue through this book, I will share my insights upon the lessons therein. I highly recommend the book to any and all considering beginning a young girls' group. The Catholic influences found in the prayers combined with the excellent literary selections creates a beautiful setting for teaching true hospitality to young girls. It is never too early to begin, although most of the work is probably best begun around 7 or 8 yrs. old. The arts and practices taught in this book (or through any number of young girls' groups) will be used throughout their entire lives as they embark upon the road of adulthood and form their own families until one day they pass on their knowledge to their own children.
Remember all those grueling hours of scrubbing stained carpets and washing dirty footprints? Or all those sleepless nights pacing back and forth with a wailing infant or sitting up with a sick child? And what about all those frustrating arguments about schoolwork or homework? And the countless times you drove from here to there and everywhere for activities and soccer and ballet? Did you ever stop to wonder why? Why did you choose one of the most difficult jobs in the universe? Why did you become a mom?
Seeing as I'm not a mom yet, I'm not sure if that's actually a common-place question or not. I have discovered, however, a few seemingly small but enormously significant reasons for the answer to that question. After months of stinky diapers and rotten spit-up, one look at your beautiful baby sleeping peacefully is enough to wipe away all the distasteful memories. After your nerves have been wrecked by constant bickering between your children, a few moments of quiet as they play pleasantly together reminds you of the true goal.
As you struggle through the day-to-day hectic activity of raising a family, remember to cherish the small moments. By building up a great store of the beauty of family, you create innumerable means to help you through the next case of throwing up or temper tantrums. Good luck and God bless you all!
Nobody likes Monday morning. Or if you admit that you belong to the 1% of the human race who actually enjoys beginning their work week, everyone around you looks askance as if you were a crazy alien. But what is it about Monday morning specifically that causes so much reluctance and grief? Most likely, it is a combination of a full two days off from work (in general) plus an innate human desire to spend time doing fun things rather than heading in to the office. Not many people would choose work over play; ergo, we spend our weekdays looking for the weekend and the weekend dreading the weekdays. Unfortunately, this "case of the Mondays" applies to children as well as adults, although not to as great an extent. Mainly it revolves around a severe desire to avoid school at all costs. Whether you home school or send off your children each morning, the morning routine seems a bit tougher on Mondays than any other day of the week. The question is how to deal with this fact.
There is a saying –– well, there are several sayings –– but this one is: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I know this doesn't exactly apply to dreading Mondays, but it can be altered to a parallel statement: "No day can make you dread it without your consent." This statement can be paired with "Life's what you make it." Your attitude towards life (and Mondays) is completely under your control. Regardless of whether you love or hate your job, you can still enter it with a cheerful attitude vs. a despondent one. "In every cloud there is a silver lining." In everything you do try to look for the good. By doing this, you will accomplish much. Your outlook on life will brighten. You'll find things often overlooked. You'll find the good. You'll avoid hatred towards your job or co-workers. And you'll become a better person overall.
This "looking for the good" is all well and good, but you may be wondering just how to do so. Or whether there are more avenues to pursue towards dispelling the dread of Mondays. There are quite a few options available to the creative mind. Here are a few that I recommend:
1. Make a list of the goods that you receive because of your job (or whatever you are dreading.) By remembering all of the blessings in your life, you are better able to "suffer" through whatever it is that troubles you.
2. Remember to smile. A smile brightens up the room and illuminates everyone's day. Regardless of how crummy you feel, remember that your attitude affects the people around you. By smiling through the pain, you can help others around you to discover a happier day. Besides, smiling is good exercise. And it will cheer you up if you let it.
3. Find a happy song that always makes you happy, even when you're really sad. Listen to it on your drive to work. Your whole day will be better if you begin it well.
4. Eat well. Get enough sleep. Believe it or not, eating right and sleeping well both affect your day-to-day attitude enormously. If you stay up all hours and have to get up at the crack of dawn for work, you'll dread the work. If, however, you use common sense and allot yourself enough hours of sleep, you will feel more refreshed in the morning and ready to take on the day. Eating right works the same way. If all you do is stuff yourself with carbs and preservatives, your body will feel sluggish and lazy. On the other hand, if you eat right, you will find your energy boosted as you begin the days with a lighter step.
5. Laugh often. You'd be surprised how a good laugh can dispel the clouds of darkness surrounding Mondays or any other dreaded thing. Besides, when you laugh in the face of trials, you shock the others around you into curiosity. Maybe eventually everyone will face problems with positivity and optimism vs. dread and pessimism.
6. Above all else, keep up a good attitude. I know how easily the human person spirals because of a minor insult or setback. If you understand the potentiality for such spirals ahead of time, you can avoid them or at least spot the warning signs. By doing so, you can avert the problem before it arises. It is not always easy (read: almost never) to remain cheerful in the face of adversity (or Mondays), but as you struggle remember three things: You are not alone (because all of mankind struggles with you.) You grow stronger each time you conquer the despondency. You draw closer to your full purpose as you pursue the truly Christian attitude.
I know dreading Mondays is a hard habit to break. Keep trying. And as you try, remember to teach your children the same truths. Look for the silver lining, and you will find a happier home and life.
Music awakens a sense of freedom and creativity within us. It puts into wordless phrases the emotions of our heart. Through music we can express the feelings and thoughts which we cannot explain with mere words. The wide spectrum of musical genres encompasses the entire emotional psyche of human nature. We find songs that help us through the tough times or buoy up our spirits when we are feeling down. A few minutes of happy, upbeat music can brighten our day or boost the excitement already beginning. Music strums the strings of our souls and draws forth the desire for the good and the beautiful.
Since we all enjoy music - whether it be classical, rock, country, hip hop, or any of a myriad of options - I believe it is important to be able to understand it at least a bit. The ability to create music oneself nurtures a deeper appreciation for what is truly good and beautiful in the musical world. A child who is exposed to the classical works will develop a greater understanding of talent and beauty. (Not to knock all other types of music. I love my pop and country and oldies. But nothing quite makes my heart soar the way a beautiful orchestra does.) One of the greatest methods of exposure to music is a total immersion, i.e. learning about it for oneself. Whether your child joins the church choir or learns to play another instrument, the concentration, dedication and artistic endeavors that accompany such instruction is a wonderful addition to a child's raising.
Most children don't really want to play an instrument, but a few years of elementary piano or violin teaches them important lessons such as hand-eye coordination, a good ear, and obedience. ;) Besides, the ability to read music is always a good skill to have. Choosing the right instrument can be difficult because of the numerous choices: woodwinds; percussion; string instruments. Most people fall back on the piano or the violin, or even voice lessons. These are all wonderful options (I play the piano myself.) But if your child shows interest in a different instrument, please let them pursue it. Their desire to play music will increase if they can play something they enjoy.
I am eternally grateful for the piano lessons and encouragement from my parents. Whenever I get a chance, I slide my fingers across the ivory and ebony keys as I revel in the musical beauty of pure notes. I also love singing, and I thank my parents for forcing me to join the choir at a young age. I did not want to join, but my parents knew best, and I have developed a deep love for singing. Every time I hear a beautiful polyphony or an acapella choir, my heart glows warm as I listen to the beauty reflecting God's glory. So don't despair if your child kicks and screams when you drag them to music lessons. They should one day appreciate the wonderful exposure to good music. If not, you will at least have tried, and that is all one can ask of a loving parent. :)
Each day contains innumerable occasions for lessons and surprises, especially in a house with growing children. It is the little moments that make life worthwhile, yet too often we get carried away with the stress and worry of checking off everything on our "To Do" list. When we focus on simply getting things done, we miss out on golden opportunities to observe, discover, learn and experience so many wonderful things. I struggle (and have for many years) with knowing when to be firm with the schedule and when to let things slide a bit so as to enjoy life. I have always wanted to have a plan, and a solid one at that. Over the past few years, I have lessened my grip on controlling every aspect of my life. (College helped a lot with that.) Now, in my work with children, I am discovering more and more that life is full of surprises and unexpected changes in plan. Thankfully, rather than spiraling because my carefully-laid plans have changed (slightly or drastically), I focus (most of the time) on the unexpected happiness or silver lining to be found within the unforeseen alterations. A few examples from today may suffice for explanation.
While going through the schoolwork with one child, I was explaining verbs from the English book. We were only supposed to complete one lesson (which I would have been perfectly content to do), but the child was driven by some force or other to continue on and complete above and beyond the work required for today's lesson. While I was a bit surprised (since schooling is generally a "get it done and over with" type of activity), I was genuinely pleased to see such a keen interest in the child. She flew through the exercises, and I glimpsed a thirst for knowledge that struck me very hard. While she may not have understood completely why she wanted to do more work, I know that it stems (at least partially) from that innate thirst within us all to know the truth and to learn all we can so as to draw closer to our Creator. If only that thirst would burst forth when we were studying math. ;) Taking this instance, however, we can first understand our desire for knowledge, and then we may begin to call it forth as a means of encouragement and persuasion when faced with a task undesirable. In my case, these disagreeable tasks mainly revolve around teaching/learning math and studying for exams (which are done for the time being). Yet I understand the importance of learning and receiving a well-balanced education; therefore, I strive harder to pursue equally well that which I enjoy and that which I must do. No person likes everything they must do, yet they should do it anyways. A child who hates math must still learn the concepts because they are essential to their education. In life, there are things we must do, whether it is studying in school, working through a drudge job, or (most importantly) sacrificing our own selfish wants and desires for the path of God. I have found, through my experience, that it becomes easier to accomplish an undesired task when you remember the real reason behind whatever it is. Basically, when we remember that God is in control and that all of our actions should be for His glory, we can better offer up our own sufferings for the good of others.
Not all learning experiences are difficult or painful. Today I witnessed the true joy of "practice makes perfect" as a little one-year-old girl walked (or stumbled) about the room. Whenever she fell down, she got back up again. Now that she knows the joy of walking, crawling is a lesser option. She would rather struggle to remain on two feet rather than crawl about on her hands and knees. The happiness that glows in her face from this accomplishment is a beautiful sight. As she toddles around, I reflect on that joy and recollect that we should approach all of our lessons with the same attitude. The more one must work for an end, the more fulfilling the success becomes. If only we remembered this when faced with a tough exam or a problem at work, perhaps we could become better people and create a happier world. So treasure the lessons to be learned each day, and do not cast aside those taught by even the smallest of children. For in God's eyes, we are all His children. If we can regain the innocence and trust of a little child, we can accomplish anything through God Who strengthens us.
