I have come to the realization that having a sand pit at the local pool is an excellent idea. When the mandatory break whistle is blown, it gives the kids a spot to play vs. just sitting around. And it provides a welcome alternative to the constant swimming and splashing. Plus, it's almost like going to the beach!
I have very fond memories of building elaborate sand castles on the beach during our summer vacations. We dug moats and built towers. The best part was the "drip" castles. To make your own drip castle, take some rather watery sand in your hands. Then just let it drip through your fingers to wherever your castle should be. It can become quite an art as you create tiny turrets and spires.
Of course, I also went to the beach with just my sisters. Very rarely were we joined by a boy, and when we were, he helped build the castles. My experience today is that little boys prefer destroying the castles rather than building them. Which is perfectly fine and entertaining. :)
. . . give it to a crawling baby. Whether it's your keys, your phone, or the vacuum cleaner attachments, they will mysteriously disappear if you don't keep both of your eyes on them. Luckily, you can call your phone and search by sound (unless it is on vibrate.) And keys generally come with a spare you'd be wise to keep somewhere safe (but don't forget where.) But alas, vacuums only come with one of each attachment. If your child has thrust an accessory somewhere unknown, there is a way to clean those difficult places (stairs, baseboards, etc.) without the vacuum extension. Simply find a stiff scrub brush and acquaint your hands and knees with the floor. Then, manually brush the carpet. You may feel like a modern Cinderella, but it gets the job done. I once "swept" my dining room carpet with a brush and dustpan. It worked wonders.
I fail to see the logic in silencing a crying child with a valuable or important object. Especially if you're a more absent-minded person. I know keys jingle and phones light up and make noise when you push buttons, but they're not children's toys. Besides if your 2-yr. old pushes the wrong buttons, your phone can become an uncontrollable mess with numerous additions to your monthly bill. If you must give keys and phones to your little ones, give them actual toys. Plastic keys and phones are colorful and entertaining. If you must provide the "real deal," create a keychain just for the kids. Use old keys etc. so that your necessary keys don't risk being lost in the great abyss. Unless, of course, you have the money to throw about replacing missing keys and phones. In that case, get your kids their own toy keys and send the money you'll save to me. :) Or to your child's savings account. It's never too early to start saving for college (which gets more expensive every year.)
One final note: if you insist on letting your kids play with important items, teach them how to find missing things as soon as possible. Help them identify the objects so that they know what they are looking for. And try to think like a little kid when you go searching yourself. Don't be afraid to dive beneath the sofa cushions or behind the dresser drawers.
We all want to protect our children from the horrors of the world around us. The question of how long we should shelter them, however, plagues every parent. Ideally, there would be nothing from which to shelter them. Their innocence would never be lost. In our modern world, however, we know that eventually the disagreeable and immoral aspects of society will eventually surface regardless of our efforts. I am all for sheltering your children as long as possible, but there are so many things it would be better to hear of from your lips rather than the mass populace and pop culture. As your children grow older and mature, you must use your best judgment when to inform them of the evils that pervade our culture. Even if you do not inform them directly, please establish a genuine and strong relationship with them so that if they have questions, they do not fear asking you.
I know bubbles of innocence or ignorance can be immense safety zones to many people, myself included. I like my bubble where, regardless of the immorality in parts of society, we couldn't really devolve into a terror-stricken country beset by tyrants and revolution. Things like that are only historical facts, right? I wish I could believe completely in the faith of my country, but I fear we've lost our right. I have determined, then, that it is better to be informed than ignorant. While ignorance may be bliss, it can also be childish and immature. An adult who refuses to accept the facts of reality may eventually draw so far within their idealistic fantasies that they can no longer function in society. It is my duty, therefore, to remain educated on the issues at hand. Part of this education, however, includes a cautious preparation. This preparation is a readiness for the worst while hoping for the best. The medium will most likely ensue. While present-day facts may seem cause for despair, we should rather prepare and fortify ourselves for any approaching days of danger. I don't mean to sound hopeless, but things tend to get worse before they get better. Of course, maybe right now is the "worse" and things are on the up. Unlikely, but still . . . there's my bubble again.
As you educate yourself, you should not let your innocence be completely shattered. While you should prepare for any ill weather, you should also hold on to your faith in the truth. Do not transform your ideals for a better world into a cynical pessimism that fuels despair in mankind. Just because men have failed and continue to do so, does not mean the entire world is going to Hell in a hand-basket. There is still good in the world. All you have to do is see it. It is this good that we must strive to preserve. Thus, while the degenerate culture demands a loss of innocence, we can still resist temptation and promote the truth. Do not be afraid to form the bubbles of protection from outside influences, but build them from a material not impenetrable. Allow information and further education to enter in that you may know how to apply the truth to the modern world. It is through a delicate balance of informed innocence that we can truly combat the evils of the world.
In my recent experience with home schooling, a problem can arise among the triangle of teacher and two or more students. An older (or younger) sibling may interrupt your instructions to their sibling with thoughts of their own on the subject. They may provide answers, make sarcastic comments or present "how I would do it" statements. While the interrupting child is generally trying to help, their actions mostly add confusion and frustration to the child being taught. The teacher (whether Mom, Dad, or someone else) must remain the authority and instructor for several reasons.
1. Honor thy father and thy mother. When your child listens to and follows your instructions, they fulfill the fourth commandment. By respecting your authority as their teacher, the child remains the student which is their calling as a child. If another sibling interjects (especially something contrary to what you've said), the student may falter in their acceptance of your guidance.
2. Being told. Let's face it. Nobody likes being told what to do. It's even worse when you have several people giving you the same instructions. (This is why familial discipline belongs to the parents only. It is not the child's place to discipline their siblings, but that's a topic for another post.) If you are teaching a child (particularly in a subject they dislike), receiving instruction from you is plenty. Having a sibling interrupt with comments on how they would teach it, how the child should learn it, and how it's "so easy" can overwhelm the student to the point of shutting down completely. The learning child will no longer be willing to even try if they believe they cannot succeed. A sibling's peanut gallery comments do not help.
3. Train of thought. It has been my experience that siblings' interjectory comments come at the most inopportune moments, most often right in the middle of your explanation. Being an adult raising children, it can often be difficult to regain your train of thought once it is derailed. This is confusing for the child being taught and frustrating for you. Couple this with your already short temper (unless you happen to be an angelic mother who doesn't have frayed nerves), and you have a recipe for disaster. I know you cannot avoid all interruptions (especially with numerous children), but the fewer you have, the easier school will go.
All in all, keeping the instructions solely within your realm of authority is a good idea. I do not, however, object to useful comments from siblings. While these comments should not arise in the midst of instruction, oftentimes a sibling's observations can lend a new light to your potential difficulties in teaching. Please ask your children for suggestions regarding new ways to make learning more interesting. I have often given my two cents worth regarding various school subjects (most especially Latin), and I like to think that my personal experience with home schooling through high school lends a bit of authority to my musings. I can only relate what I have learned or observed for myself (which I know cannot apply to every person), but I hope that some principles remain the same throughout all learning children. If you have taken up the wonderful cross of home schooling, don't be afraid to ask for advice, even from your children. Just make sure that while the teaching is actually happening, your children remain simply students. Let them enjoy being a child without having to teach their siblings. If they won't fight for their right to learn and not instruct, then you must.
I'm sure that anyone who has cared for an infant or young child knows the heartache of listening to the child's lamentations at nap time. If you are new to the baby world, you will most likely feel an uncontrollable urge to dash into the nursery, lift up your distressed child and rock them to peaceful quiet. Don't. While you can sometimes put a child to sleep and then keep them sleeping as you transfer them from your arms to their bed, it is not as frequent as we'd like. Rather, we must let them fuss and cry to sleep. The question is how long do you leave them screaming? When do you cater and when do you turn a deaf ear?
If you rush in at the first whimper, your child will quickly learn your weak will and exploit it. Whether they are tired or not, they will scream if they know you will come and give them attention. Give your crying child a few minutes to accept the fact that it's nap time. Let them cry out their frustration before succumbing to the bliss of sleep. If you find crying difficult to cope with, go in every five minutes or so and comfort your child. Do not necessarily remove them from their crib; rather, you can stroke their back and whisper soothing words of comfort. Before you enter to comfort, however, be sure that their screaming has not decreased in volume or intensity. Oftentimes, a child will cry for several minutes straight, but they gradually quiet down. If you go in just as they are calming themselves down, you can destroy their sleepy mood. The screaming will start again, and you're back at square one.
The best advice is to develop a bit of a cold shoulder and tough love aspect. You must be able to withstand the screams because you know what is best for your child. They need a nap, even if they think otherwise. It can be painful to listen to your young one whimpering and bewailing their cruel fate. You can endure, however, with great patience. Just be sure to learn the difference between a child crying themselves to sleep and a child who screams for 20 minutes straight with an ever increasing volume and earnestness. Sometimes you simply have to go in and take care of the screaming. But don't buckle within the first two minutes. Give your child some time to adjust and calm themselves before rushing to the rescue. You'll thank yourself so much!
Lent speedily approaches with Ash Wednesday eagerly waiting just for tomorrow. For any non-Catholics, you probably simply acknowledge today as Mardi Gras and then wait the next 40+ days for Easter enjoying all of the federal holidays and St. Patrick's Day in between. For us Catholics, however, today symbolizes the last day before entering a season of penance and preparation. The Lenten season is a period of time for a more earnest bettering of oneself as well as offering up suffering for the sake of others. For most children, Lent means giving up sweets or tv. For adults, the sacrifices vary quite widely, especially based on how ignorant they are or choose to be. In my case, I have discovered that Lent is a beautiful time to strive for things which you should already do on a regular basis. Give up something to which you are addicted such as coffee or pop. Focus on developing your spiritual life through Scripture and prayer. Reach out more to your fellow human beings. For myself, furthering the spiritual aspect of my life offers the most difficulty; therefore, I have determined to spend a greater amount of time in prayer and spiritual reflection each day.
But what does all this have to do with children? Lent is a terrific time to teach your children the true art of sacrifice. By guiding them through their Lenten sacrifices, you can show them both how to suffer and how to offer up that suffering for the souls of others. A young child will most likely hate losing their sweets or computer time, but you can help them understand how their discomfort and annoyance can be turned to graces from Heaven. Furthermore, you can focus on how greatly and intensely Our Lord suffered for us when He died on the cross. Tell your children how their offered up suffering helps ease the suffering of Christ. By relating their Lenten sacrifices to Christ's sufferings, you may draw a greater attention to the true reason for the Easter celebration. The fact that Christ offered up His life for our sins and thereby redeemed our souls for eternity is the greatest gift of self-sacrifice ever known or ever shall be known. If you can spend the next 40 days in penance and preparation, the true joy of Easter will appear ever more present. It will no longer be simply a secularized holiday filled with chocolate, bunnies and hunting eggs. Take back the true reason for Easter and celebrate all its glory and wonder.
First off, the book Crime and Punishment by Fydor Dostoyevsky is amazing. Yes, it has its dark moments and depressing scenes, but I absolutely loved it. But that's beside the point. The point for this long overdue post is finding a punishment that fits the crime. Throughout literature (since I'm an English major), authors have presented sinners paying for their faults in fitting means. Dante Alghieri's Divine Comedy, most specifically his Inferno, depicts numerous sufferings that vary depending on the specific sin. Gluttony punished by swimming in putrid and rotting food. I would not recommend this book for children. It's a bit dark and scary. A happy alternative, however, is Tomi dePaola's enchanting story Strega Nona. This tale tells of how Big Anthony uses Strega Nona's magical pasta pot but cannot turn it off. His punishment is to eat all of the pasta he created. Needless to say, Big Anthony did not ever touch Strega Nona's pot again.
When your child requires discipline, it is often ineffective to simply use the same level of punishment for all their misdemeanors. Failure to clean their room vs. being disrespectful to your authority are on different scales, generally. If you simply send them to their room for everything, they won't learn that various actions have various consequences. The specific example I have in mind is when your child loses something important, such as their art class paintbrushes or soccer cleats. There are a few steps that should be taken in these cases, and a very motivating punishment as well.
1. The child should look for the missing item. Scour the house. Dig under their bed. You may help them search, but do not do all the work for them.
2. If the item is not found, make the child pay for it (or at least part.) Having to part with even a small amount of hard-earned money will burn the lesson into their minds. They will be extra careful with their possessions and take special care not to lose them again.
3. Oftentimes, the threat of having to pay themselves for the missing items increases the determination to find the lost thing ten-fold. Good luck! And you can, of course, always pray to St. Anthony, patron of lost causes.
