The Birth God Chose

Since my last post in 2018, our family has grown by leaps and bounds. We just welcomed our sixth child (fifth Earthside), and his birth is the impetus behind this post. In advance of his birth story, let me summarize the previous five kids:

#1: Born 3/28/2018 vaginally via induction at 41+3 (but 40+3 per my ovulation charting) with epidural; her labor began with overnight meds in the hospital to soften my cervix followed by 1.5 days on Pitocin at full blast . . . the first full day, I couldn't feel any contractions. Lesson learned: listen to my instincts and guess date vs. the ultrasounds. Little girl just wasn't quite ready.

#2: Born 5/9/2019 vaginally with natural labor at 39+6; labor started in the evening, progressed overnight, and we went to the hospital to deliver within 4 hours of arrival - no pain medication. Lesson learned: I can give birth naturally without pain medication; pushing on my back is no bueno.

#3: Miscarriage at 6 weeks in February 2020; our little angel in Heaven. Lesson learned: life is fragile and the loss of a child hurts, no matter how young or old they may be.

#4: Born 12/9/2020 vaginally via induction at 41+3; I scheduled induction because my mind and body were fighting labor out of fear and memory of my last birth; gave birth on Pitocin with no pain medications. Lesson learned: a midwife whose first focus is the mother's comfort during birth is a lifesaver. The midwife who delivered this baby instructed me to push on hands and knees after my back wasn't working, and it only took one push!

#5: Born 9/3/2022 vaginally with natural labor at 40+6; this was my first home-birth and a water birth; his labor petered out until my midwives did positioning exercises with me to rotate his head from my pelvis to my cervix; after that, labor went fairly quickly, and he was born within 3 hours. Lesson learned: nothing beats climbing into my own bed immediately after giving birth and NOT being interrupted constantly all night in the hospital.

This brings us to 2023 and the pregnancy and birth of #6: Born 11/29/2023 via c-section at 41+6 (which was the complete opposite of the second homebirth we had planned.) Lesson learned: God answers prayers in unexpected ways, and He takes care of us.

So how did I go from a planned homebirth to a c-section? It's quite the wild ride, and as each step unfolded, I saw God's request that we trust Him and saw the fruits of that trust. He protected this baby from day one and made certain we got to bring him home.

First off, this pregnancy was not planned and not expected (especially since we had just had a baby last fall), but of course, we knew God has a plan and that despite our best NFP planning, He wanted us to have this baby. We settled in for another pregnancy and planned on a second homebirth. As the weeks went by, I had the worst nausea of any of my pregnancies, got sick multiple times, and had extremely low energy . . . more than is expected in your 6th pregnancy in six years. But we struggled through and made it past those days. At each appointment and with each test, all we knew was that the baby was growing well and healthy, good heart rate, and my overall health was good. Finally, we made it to the 37 week mark (when we can officially have a baby at home), and I grew extremely excited and anxious for this baby to finally arrive. 40 weeks came and went, and still no baby . . . but as my husband reminded me, most of our babies were closer to or past 41 weeks, so I shouldn't stress too much. 

41 weeks was Thanksgiving, so the next afternoon, I went for my required 41 week ultrasound to check on the baby. According to the tech, everything looked great! My midwives called the following morning, however, to tell me that the ultrasound showed that the baby was breech, and at 41+2, I had to go to the hospital for evaluation and would likely be scheduled for c-section since it is too late in the pregnancy to attempt an external version and flip him. Needless to say, I freaked out a bit and sobbed. Did I mention I said a Surrender Novena in the days leading up to 40 weeks, offering this pregnancy and birth to God and entrusting all aspects solely to Him? Kind of felt like I was being excessively tested at this point. Anyways, we went in for evaluation and were scheduled for a c-section the following morning at 41+3. Family and friends were praying for us and for the baby to flip back head down on his own. As I was being prepared the next morning for the c-section, I made sure they brought in an ultrasound tech to triple-check baby's position before we went through with the surgery. Lo and behold, he was head down again! The nurses were flabbergasted. The on-call doctor strongly suggested I stay for induction, but I declined and signed the necessary waivers. My mom flew down that day, so she was with us while we waited for labor to start.

We returned home and continued to try everything possible to induce labor - pumping; walking; exercises; homeopathics; chiropractics; raspberry leaf tea; everything. My midwife came to check me at 41+5 and said that if I didn't go into labor that night or the next day, I needed to go in for induction because my fluid was really low. Determined to avoid that if possible, I took lots of walks and started having more consistent contractions that picked up and continued through the night until they petered off around 4am . . . during which contractions I started having panic attacks about giving birth. Now, as you know from above, I've given birth 4 times already, 3 of which were completely unmedicated, so I'm no stranger to how difficult labor and delivery can be to suffer through, but typically, I freak out but psych myself up for it and make it through. Not this time. This time I was literally crying, dreading the thought of labor, and wishing there was a way to just avoid it entirely. Needless to say, the contractions petered out, and my midwives recommended I go into the hospital for induction at 41+6. Again, not what any of us had planned, but it couldn't be avoided.

We packed our bags, kissed the kids goodbye, and headed to the hospital for induction. The staff were completely wonderful and understanding of the fact that this was not how I had planned this birth and promised to do everything they could to make it as similar to what I had hoped for as possible. The nurse hooked me up to the heart rate monitor and disappeared for a bit. In addition to labor not starting, they said the baby was essentially floating around in my uterus - he was tiny compared to my last baby, so there was lots of room even without fluid and no impetus for him to descend into the pelvis and put pressure on my cervix to start active labor. 

After an hour or two, the on-call midwife came in and began explaining that I was having intermittent contractions (which I could definitely feel), and that the baby was not responding well to them because he was having late decelerations (i.e. his heart rate was dropping AFTER the contraction ended, which is not a good sign). He was still healthy and ok for the time being, but between the late decelerations and my fluids being almost completely gone, labor needed to start ASAP. She laid out our options: (1) c-section immediately; (2) start pitocin and see if he responded better to that, although if the late decelerations continued, they would have to stop and go straight to c-section; (3) start pitocin after breaking my water and flushing a saline solution into my uterus to replace the depleted amniotic fluid. An additional concern was that the baby could start suffering from neurological issues due to a lack of oxygen from the low fluid. Option 3 was NOT an option for me. Option 2 sounded ok at first, but the more my husband and I pondered it, the more we realized it was just delaying the inevitable . . . he wasn't likely to stop the late decelerations on induced contractions if he was already having them on my natural ones. So we opted for Option 1, a complete 180 from our planned vaginal birth, and prepared for surgery. My doula-in-training was AMAZING, and she had so much knowledge and information and support throughout the whole process. The staff were incredibly informative, and my husband and I both felt completely at peace with the decision. I mean, obviously we were concerned about recovery and the waiting after this birth if we want a VBAC, but hey, at least no pain during birth? 

I've never had surgery of any kind before, and my only experience with numbing medication was the epidural I had with my first baby, so the entire process of the c-section was fascinating. The team worked incredibly quickly and efficiently, and they made certain to inform us at each step what was going on and why. The spinal tap washed over me and created what felt like an inch thick buffer of air that I couldn't feel anything through. They hung the drape and within minutes, dropped the curtain so that we could see our baby as they pulled him out! They delayed his cord clamping and then took him to the warmer where my husband trimmed the cord and watched over him before they put him on my chest while the doctor began stitching up the incision. As the surgery came to a close, my husband went with the baby to get his vitals, and I rested a few minutes, grateful for his successful birth. 

And that's when we found out just how lucky we had all been. This precious baby of ours had two issues that a normal vaginal delivery, or an induced one, could have made fatal: first, his cord was wrapped twice around his neck . . . not typically a huge concern, except that there was no fluid left to keep it loose; second, he had a velamentous cord insertion, which means that his umbilical cord wasn't fully inserted into the placenta, causing blood vessels to form on the outside of the cord and attach to the bag of waters. At any point during the pregnancy, those blood vessels could have ruptured, causing the baby to bleed out and die in utero. They could definitely have ruptured during a normal vaginal labor and delivery, and he could have been stillborn or suffered severe neurological damage because of it. He floated around, flipped back from breech, and refused to descend because it wasn’t safe. And throughout it all, we trusted in God’s plan and made the best decision we could at each turn. 

I am eternally grateful for the midwives I had who let me go as long as possible instead of recommending induction at the 41 week mark. For the strength of conviction to refuse the “recommended” induction when we didn’t need the scheduled c-section. For the Grace and strength of the Holy Spirit to be completely at peace with the eventual c-section. For my husband and my mom and their support during my first weeks of recovery, handling everything so that I can rest and heal. At every turn of this crazy pregnancy and birth, God protected us and the baby and guided us in our decision. And now we have the sweetest new addition to our family, exceptionally loved by everyone.